第25章
"How heavy this portrait is! I can carry it no longer; take it out of my hands, it burns them.In mercy, extinguish this fire.Ihave a brand in my breast.It must be kept covered with ashes;when I can see it no more, I shall suffer less.It is my eyes that make me suffer; if I were blind, I could return to Moscow."Then in a harsher voice:
"I could easily destroy this likeness, but THE OTHER, I cannot kill it, curses on me! it is the better portrait of the two.There is her hair, her mouth, her smile.Ah, thank God, I have killed the smile.The smile is no longer there.I have buried the smile.
But there is the mole in the corner of the mouth.I have kissed it a thousand times; take away that mole, it hurts me.If that mole were gone I should suffer less.Merciful Heaven! it is always there.But I have buried the smile.The smile is no more.I have buried it deep in a leaden coffin.It can't come...."Then suddenly changing his accent, and in a tragical, but bitter voice, his eyes fixed upon the large rusty sword which he held in his right hand, he muttered:
"The spot will not go away.The iron will not drink it.It was not for this blood it thirsted.I shall find it in the other, it will drink that.Ah! we shall see how it will drink it."Upon this, he relapsed into silence and appeared to be thinking deeply.Then raising his head, he cried in a voice so strong and vibrating that the iron door trembled upon its hinges:
"Morlof, then it was not thou! Ah! my dear friend, I was deceived....Go, do not regret life.It is only the dream of a screech-owl....Believe me, friend, I want to die, but I cannot.I must know...I must discover.Ah! Morlof, Morlof, leave thy hands in mine, or I shall think thou hast not forgiven me....God! how cold these hands are...cold...cold..."And at these words he shuddered; his head moved convulsively upon his shoulders, and his teeth chattered; but soon calming himself, he murmured:
"I want to know the name, I must know that name! Is there no one who can tell me that name?"Thus speaking, he raised the picture to a level with his face, and with bent head and extended neck, appeared to be trying to decipher upon the canvas some microscopic writing or obscure hieroglyphics.
"The name is there!" said he."It is written somewhere about the heart,--at the bottom of the heart; but I cannot read it, the writing is so fine, it is a female hand; I do not know how to read a woman's writing.They have a cipher of which Satan alone has the key.My sight is failing me.I have flies in my head.There is always one of them that hides this name from me.Oh! in mercy, in pity, take away the fly and bring me a pair of pincers....With good pincers I will seek that name even in the last fibers of this heart which beats no more."He added with a terrible air:
The dead do not open their teeth.The one who lives will speak.
You shall see how I will make him speak.You shall see how I will make him speak....Tear off his black robe, stretch him on this plank.The iron boots! the iron boots! tighten the boots!"Then interrupting himself abruptly, he raised his eyes and fixed them upon the door.An expression of fury mingled with terror swept over his face, as if he had suddenly perceived some hideous and alarming object.His features became distorted; his mouth worked convulsively and frothed; his eyes, unnaturally dilated, darted flames; he uttered a hollow moan, took a few steps backward, and suddenly dropping his torch to the ground, where it went out he cried in a frightful voice:
"There are eyes behind the door! there are eyes! there are eyes!"Horror-struck, distracted, beside himself, Gilbert turned and took to flight.In spite of the darkness, he found his way as if by miracle.He crossed the corridor at a run, mounted the staircase in three bounds, dashed into his chamber and bolted the door.Then he hurriedly lighted a candle, and having glanced about to assure himself that the phantom had not followed him into his room, dropped heavily upon a chair, stunned and breathless.In a few moments he had collected his thoughts, and was ashamed of his terror; but in spite of himself his agitation was such that at every noise which struck his ear, he thought he heard the step of Count Kostia ascending the staircase of his turret.It was not until he had bathed his burning head in cold water that he recovered something like tranquillity; and determining by a supreme effort to banish the frightful images which haunted him, he seated himself at his worktable and resolutely opened one of the Byzantine folios.As he began to read, his eye fell upon an unsealed letter which had been left on his table during his absence; it ran thus: